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Almost all people are attracted to each other for different
reasons and conditions, a lot of them are entirely unrelated to our sexual needs or
compatibility. Some conditions such as personality, physical appearance, age, sex,
similarities in education, occupation, background, communication styles, attitudes
and beliefs toward life are a few of the factors people consider when choosing partners.
After we select a partner with many of the other important qualities we are looking for,
we may end up with a partner who may not be naturally most sexually compatible.
Since we are human and everyone is different, there will
always be people who will find themselves in relationships where they have different
desire levels for sex and different preferences when it comes to sexual activities than
their partner. One may have a high sex drive and has a desire to have sex more frequently
than the other. One might want to have sex a few times a week but the other would like to
have sex once a week; one might like it when no one is around but the other may prefer
when people are in the house; one might want more oral sex than intercourse, the other may
not have a desire for oral sex. These are a few of the differences people may find
in their relationships. This kind of behavior between partners may cause no sex life in
their relationship which is not a healthy situation for couples.
In this kind of situation you may compromise with your
partner to have sex when both desire to have it. This often results in the partner
with the higher desire level feeling bitter, horny, and loser and the partner with the
lower desire level feeling guilty, resentful, and turned off. This way no one really
enjoys their sexual activity entirely and frustration started to grow larger. It could
lead to great damage in the relationship.
You can try to understand each other's desire toward sexual activity and try to come up
with a plan such as taking turns. You can take control to do things your way this
time and your partner can take control to do it his/her way next time. You will
start to enjoy sexual activity to the fullest when it is your time. The same
thing goes for your partner as well.
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